Got invited to a work function on a Thursday night and were too embarrassed to tell your boss you really can't miss this week's episode of Jersey Shore? No problem. Spoiler Alert: This week, Snookie gets drunk, Ronnie and Sam break upget back together break up, Mike and Pauly try to smash with girls at the club, and everyone gets melanoma.
Not that I have much room to record much of anything, what with every single episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations saved by Aaron. He likes to keep them, watch them over and over again, and you know...get inspired. Last month, it took everything I could do to convince him that buying a white linen suit and fedora and booking a puddle-jumper from Miami just to get an authentic Cuban sandwich might not be the most thought-out plan ever. "But Tony did it...."
Well, fortunately for me, last night he watched an episode where Tony goes to Naples, and it inspired the shit out of him. Now our whole house smells like garlic and tomatoes, a delicious scent which, by the way Febreze should really consider adopting for their next line of air fresheners. I'd rather smell pots of house-made marinara and sweet garlic and basil than Yumberry Sangria or Glistening Alpine any day.
So Tony visited someone's Italian mother in Naples who stood over a pot that had been simmering since like, ten in the morning, chain smoking a cigarette and speaking rapid fire Italian as she chopped onions and as the beautiful, rich red TV-screen sauce bubbled, spattering itself all over the stove and the sink (which, if you look closely, is on top of the washing machine) we knew that we had to have Italian tonight.
Forgive the redundancy because I know that I just posted about Italian food, but after seeing this woman move so deftly and with such incredible purpose and intent in her natural element, Aaron was inspired enough that I came home and had a weird de-ja-vous moment of seeing an identical pot blub-blub-blubbing on my own stove and I immediately knew two things: First: I was going to have to get up early tomorrow and go to the gym because second: it was going to be a very very very good night. It didn't hurt that I also saw this...
...which is pretty much the carnivorous equivalent of a Jenna Jameson movie. So I had the feeling that it wasn't going to suck.
But, to appease the middle part of the food pyramid that mentions something about vegetables and leafy greens, we started with a salad. Annie's sells an amazing Buttermilk Ranch Dressing (available at Whole Foods) which not only puts all other Ranch Dressings to shame, but locks them in the bathroom and steals their clothing just to make a point. Toss some lettuce, cucumbers, feta cheese, hard-boiled eggs, oh...and that crispy pancetta in the picture that your cursor keeps accidentally grazing, and the end result is a salad that is not so much a healthy prelude to a meal but a salty, creamy homage to green stuff drizzled in delicious stuff that hits every note of perfection and sticks it's tongue out at those commercials where stick-thin models spray their salads with what appears to be zero calorie sunscreen.
This dinner was partially about the fact that Aaron is a freaking amazing cook, and partially about the fact that the availability of really great gluten free products has hit a level of epic proportion. Whole Foods now carries RP's, a brand of fresh-made gluten free pasta made with brown rice flour, potato starch and egg. It can be served al dente, and instead of that mushy texture that a lot of packaged gf pasta has, it has a toothy, chewy mouth feel that is reminiscent of semolina or durham flour. Aaron browned some beef and stewed it in his big pot of red sauce concoction, and the result was a gluten free pasta that I would swear tasted like it stepped off the boat, registered at Ellis Island, and set up shop in the Italian Market. I was actually surprised that it didn't smack my hand with a wooden spoon and yell at me in a foreign language.
The fine people at Grandma's Grotto (see posting below) sent me home with a goodie bag of frozen foods, which included a loaf of garlic bread which we took great pleasure in heating up and sopping up tasty morsels of ground beef popping with acidic, tangy, tomato sauce in a crispy blanket of melted butter and garlic.
And then Aaron, in his infinite wisdom and knowledge of all things glorious, pounded out two top round steaks until they were thin and layered ricotta cheese, gf bread crumbs, shallots, basil and Parmesan cheese on top, and rolled it up like a cannoli, tying it with butcher twine (see photo above). He seared the outside of the meat and then placed it in a small oval pan and covered it with red sauce and let the inside of the meat cook through. The braciole came out of the oven, ricotta cheese bubbling and browning like a little ode to lasagna, topped with fresh picked basil leaves and cracked crystals of sea salt. He sliced the meat down, and it perched on my plate, amid melty gooey ricotta cheese, next to the pasta, a silent watchdog keeping guard over pasta and delicately crafted sauce.
All in all, it was a wildly successful dinner. I'm going to need a little more "G" (as in GTL) in my life after eating two plates of pasta and almost an entire loaf of bread. But most importantly, Aaron brought a little taste of Naples, sans the heaping piles of glutenous pastas and breads to our kitchen. Which does not include a washing machine.
The key is to set the bar low in the beginning of a relationship. With cooking, I mean. Do you remember that scene in Clueless when Cher unrolls the entire bag of cookie dough and plops it onto the sheet tray?
That's me.
Anyway, after four or five culinary failures of epic proportions, it was unanimously decided that Aaron would do the cooking in our house.
The problem isn't just that I am a bad cook. The problem is that Aaron is an amazing cook (well, the problem for him at least- I'll take comfortably-full dish duty any day of the week). Luckily for me, Aaron enjoys cooking as much as I enjoy eating. Gluten-free has been like a fun challenge for him- like when they tie one hand behind their backs in the Top Chef Quickfire Challenge.
Sunday, he went to the farmer's market and bought produce and veggies that were so fresh and tasty that even I, who, if left to my own devices, would live entirely off of food that has a pre-programmed microwave button, fell immediately into food lust.
I can't tell you how to make the dishes- but I can tell you what was in them. And give you a few pointers on the best dish detergent to use after a manicure. If you are a cook, you can build them in your own way. If you are not, I highly recommend dating one.
Pan Seared Scallops Over Jersey Corn and Red Scallion Risotto with Yellow Oyster Mushrooms
The scallops were cooked to utter perfection. The outside sear was light and buttery and the inside literally just melted into a fit of taste bud delectation. The Jersey Corn is not yet fully in season, so the kernels were small, but each one bit with the satisfying snap that only flawless timing and temperature can produce, and was so satiatingly sweet and juicy that I think the other vegetables were actually jealous. The red scallions added just a bit of heat, and the yellow oyster mushrooms were earthy and uncomplicated, a simple, yet harmonious addition.
Heirloom Tomato Salad with Charred Onion Vinaigrette, Whipped Lemon-Ricotta and Gluten-Free Migas
Tomato Season is rapidly becoming a full-blown holiday in my book. If I worked for Hallmark I would start mass producing cards, tomato-grams, and heart shaped candy boxes filled with little cherry tomatoes for loved ones. The salad was dressed with a Charred Onion Vinaigrette made from the same red scallions as the risotto- light and tangy and unobtrusive, it's flavors gracefully becoming one with the juice which oozed out of the tomatoes themselves. And then, there was the cheese. Fresh ricotta cheese which was lighter and creamier than anything that I've ever seen lay dormant under the plastic film of a grocery store carton. It was buzzed with lemon juice and heavy cream and dolloped in little gobs of rich, salty love onto each plate. Aaron made the gluten-free croutons using Miller's Asiago Cheese bread, drizzled with olive oil and garlic and toasted to a crispy finish.
Roasted Lamb Chops with Rosemary and Parmesan Red-Skinned Potatoes and Lemon Cucumber Tzatziki
The lamb was simple and paired perfectly with the Lemon Cucumber Tzatziki Sauce, which is the absolute perfect summer hook up. Apparently, you can tell how much a person loves you by how much time they put into their condiments. Lamb chops and tzatziki sauce was the first dish Aaron ever made me when we started dating. Later in our relationship, one night I asked if he had changed the recipe. Surprised, he looked at me and said no. "Oh," I said. "The sauce tastes different than the first time you made it. That's all." He laughed. "The first time I made it, I was still trying to impress you. I pureed the cucumber and blended it directly into the yogurt. Now that we've been together so long, I just chopped it. I didn't think you'd notice." Uhhh thanks. In fairness, I guess that's how I feel about shaving my legs. Last night he must have been feeling the love though, because the sauce was cool, crisp and refreshing. Fresh lemon cucumbers were buzzed with Chobani Greek Yogurt. The potatoes were oven-roasted in olive oil and chopped with rosemary and sprinkled with Parmesan cheese. They were hot and crispy, and each bite coated your mouth in a salty, cheesy goodness that was as familiar and comforting as only a childhood favorite can be.
And then there was dessert.
Shelly, creator of Moondance Dessert is a genius- pure and simple. Her cheesecake crusts are made with, as far as I can tell, pecan, shortbread cookies, sugar, and crack cocaine. They are unbelievable, and come in perfectly portioned individual sizes at Whole Foods. We got their classic cheesecake, and Aaron made a blueberry compote with fresh lemon juice and sugar for a sweet, fruity compliment to the smooth, creamy cake and buttery crust.
I love dessert.
In the end, our little division of household labor really works out in my favor. It pays to have a blonde moment or two and sacrifice some burnt sheet trays to the greater cause. It's my turn to take care of dinner next, so look forward to an update on local gluten-free take out.
The fine people at Grandma's Grotto (see posting below) sent me home with a goodie bag of frozen foods, which included a loaf of garlic bread which we took great pleasure in heating up and sopping up tasty morsels of ground beef popping with acidic, tangy, tomato sauce in a crispy blanket of melted butter and garlic.
